


To The Sky

by vanderwood



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Anachronistic, Finding Paradise!AU, Gen, M/M, Major Spoiler Alert!!!!, Pilot!Linong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 10:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14998769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanderwood/pseuds/vanderwood
Summary: Chen Linong wanted to fly. You Zhangjing gave him wings.





	To The Sky

**Author's Note:**

> The storyline is based from Freebird Games’ _Finding Paradise_ , so MAJOR SPOILER ALERT for anyone who haven’t played the game yet. Please stop here and play the game first if you really really don’t want to be spoiled! :”D (psst its amazing sequel of an amazing game To The Moon)  
> also im sorry that the fact that my english sucks doesnt stop me from writing this orz critics and corrections are more than welcome!
> 
> i recommend listening to finding paradise's ost especially [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpAX5v6kD-w) or [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CfdSbtBwyI) while reading. 
> 
> so, uhm, happy reading?

 

**02**

 

From the balcony across, Chen Linong saw You Zhangjing for the first time.

He was a little boy with curly hair, perhaps around Linong’s age. Or might be younger too, since his body was definitely smaller than Linong’s. He was sitting right behind his balcony’s fence, smiling wide, not only with his mouth, but also with his eyes, eyelids, eyelashes. On his hand was a paper plane too familiar for Linong. It was a paper plane full of wishful thinking Linong made and flew earlier. Probably the wind blew that paper plane to end up in Zhangjing’s balcony, just to be picked up by the boy later.

“You made this?”

Linong could hear Zhangjing’s voice just fine. Problem was, he couldn’t reply with the same strength of voice Zhangjing had. He was always too soft-spoken, too shy.

He was reluctant to reply at first. But, even if they were in two different buildings, two different balconies, Linong could sense Zhangjing’s curious stare toward him. Zhangjing was expecting — no, scratch that, he was _demanding_ a reply.

“I … I did!”

Linong shouted from on top of his lungs. It was not enough. The sound of the wind drowned his voice over, so none of his word ever reached Zhangjing’s ears. Zhangjing leaned forward, then asking for repetition.

“What did you say?”

Unlike Linong’s, Zhangjing’s voice was strong enough to defeat the wind. That alone was enough to made Linong feel determined; he wanted Zhangjing to hear him as well as how well Linong heard Zhangjing. He took a deep breath, collecting air inside his chest until it felt like it was going to burst. And he shouted again. “I did! I … made the paper planes!”

Zhangjing nodded. Apparently he could hear Linong this time. The smile on his face still didn’t fade.

“I’m You Zhangjing!” Zhangjing shouted once again, with voice so clear and strong it could easily be heard from the balcony across. “What’s your name?”

Linong answered; but this time his voice wasn’t ready. His voice slightly cracked when he said the last sylabble of his name. _Chen Li_ — and then, crack. Sounded really funny. Linong would laugh too alongside Zhangjing if that wasn’t his own voice which cracked. He cleared his throat, coughing air to his fist while Zhangjing was laughing. Not a laugh, loud, obnoxious laughing. That kind of amused laughing with some kind of adoration within.

“Chen Linoooo~~ng?” Zhangjing imitated the cracking, to tease. A friendly tease. Linong couldn’t help but feeling irritated; but only slightly. He was not mad, he was only slightly, very slightly, annoyed, and that feeling disappeared within a blink of an eye. Linong didn’t know why. You Zhangjing was a stranger. He usually didn’t let strangers do anything that will hurt his pride, including teasing; but that was not the case with Zhangjing’s teasing.

That’s weird. They were not close, both literally and figuratively. They were one building apart. This was their first meeting.

“It’s … it’s not thaaaaaat.” Linong shouted, wanting to correct Zhangjing. “It’s Linong!”

“I know, I know!” Zhangjing nodded. “Nice to meet you, Chen Linoooo~~nggg!”

That was the first time Linong felt like he wants to fly — right away to Zhangjing’s balcony. If he were there, he wouldn’t have to shout. He could correct Zhangjing’s pronunciation of his name comfortably.

And perhaps, by flying there, he could get closer to Zhangjing too. By all means.

.

.

.

**03**

 

“You are slow.” Zhangjing snickered.

“I’m conserving energy.” Linong tried to talk in between his panting breath. “It’s wiser move. I don’t want to go fast first just to collapse at the end!”

Climbing uphill, especially when you’re carrying a guitar and your school bag, is not an easy thing to do. It is exhausting. Linong wondered from where Zhangjing got all the energy to run around while climbing a hill. Probably it was because he didn’t bring any extra weight like a guitar. Probably it was because Zhangjing really liked the view from the top of this hill so much he couldn’t wait to arrive there.

“Oh, come on. I thought you are always the best in physical exercises?”

“Not when I’m bringing this damn guitar, You Zhangjing. Try to add extra weight to your back and climb this hill. You will have the need to conserve energy as much as I do right now.”

Zhangjing laughed. “You really are good in making excuses.”

“One of my strongest suit.” Linong couldn’t help but chuckle. “But no one knows, though.”

“I do know.”

“Of course you know.”

Ever since their meeting from the balcony, Linong and Zhangjing grow closer by each passing day. They went to different school — Zhangjing went to the better one — so they only could see each other after school. Sometimes, Zhangjing stopped by at Linong’s school just to see how his friend is doing, mostly to annoy Linong during his extra vocal lessons. Linong also often invited Zhangjing over when his parents were away for work (which is like, almost every day) and they played together with Linong’s plush toys, card games, or watching anything that was aired on TV. Two days ago they were watching The Godfathers together, and it seemed that they wouldn’t forget that movie very easily.

Today, suddenly Zhangjing invited (more like forced) Linong to go to a top of a hill near their neighborhood. Linong had been there so many times, he did like the view from up there, but he didn’t know why Zhangjing just had to brought him there right after his extra vocal lesson, with no time to rest or put down his belongings first. Still, Linong couldn’t refuse. There was something in Zhangjing that he just couldn’t reject. He didn’t quite know how to put it into words, but one thing was for sure, he would feel regret if he refused Zhangjing this time.

When they arrived at the top, the sun was not too high yet not setting either. It was floating at the middle of the sky, accompanied by foams of clouds, ray of oranges and some birds flying — or sometimes, airplanes. Linong liked watching airplanes along with the cloud trails it left behind. The thing was, he still wanted to fly. And airplanes was one thing that could bring him up to the sky.

“Don’t get distracted. I’m not bringing you here to daydream.” Zhangjing elbowed him jokingly, before reaching to Linong’s shoulder and brought him under a tree nearest to the cliff.

“Hey, you crazy!” Linong tried to resist. “Do you want to kill me?”

“What? No, no, no!” Zhangjing laughed, amused. The kind of laugh Linong saw from Zhangjing almost every day. “We’re here for a vocal lesson.”

“Vocal … lesson?” Linong lifted his eyebrows while staring at Zhangjing, full of curiosity. “What vocal lesson?”

“Something you really need. I mean, I were there, silly. I were there when your teacher scolded you during choir practice.” Zhangjing smirked. “She said your voice was too low and soft, right? That’s why you have to do those extra vocal lessons?”

Zhangjing’s words reminded Linong to his choir practices, his teacher’s scolding, and all the extra lessons. Basically, not-so-pleasant memories. He hated to remember those memories, but they did happen, and most likely to happen again if he didn’t meet his teacher’s standard by tomorrow.

“You’re right.” Linong nodded softly. “You know it. I’m really shy. I couldn’t stop well in front of others … let alone sing. I like singing, but —”

“Only if you’re alone or when you’re showering.” Zhangjing completed Linong’s sentence without Linong asking. Linong didn’t get too mad about that, though. “Put down the guitar and your bag, we will use the guitar later. Today’s first lesson is about vocal warm-up, so your voice won’t crack like that time, Chen Lino~~ng. Now, listen to what Teacher You has to say!”

“Okay, okay, Tea~~cher.” Linong cracked his voice on purpose. Zhangjing couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Listen! Now, stand still!” Zhangjing reached to Linong’s arms, and tightening them on the sides of Linong’s body. “Your back, upright! Don’t shout from the chest, do it from the stomach!”

 

_“And then, let your voice be heard! Let it soar! Let those people inside that airplane hear your voice!”_

_._

_._

_._

**04**

 

Dealing with nervousness wasn’t something Linong does best. His palms would be super wet with cold sweat, his stomach felt like it was being stirred up, his head dizzy. He hadn’t even reached the rehearsal room yet but all the nervousness already numbing him down. He still didn’t have the bravery to enter the school building. It would be better if the ground he stepped on right now just swallowed him down, sending him to the core of this Earth. Or, he would rather being suddenly turned into a wall rather than entering the building, go into the rehearsal room, practice, and perform with his choir team. Linong just hadn’t get enough confidence to do all of those.

“Hey, you okay?”

For once, Zhangjing’s voice sounded so concerned. He really went all the way to accompany Linong from home to school — he did say that he wants to watch Linong perform — and during their way to school Linong looked quite fine. Seeing Linong suddenly changed like this definitely worries Zhangjing. He may be sassy and all, but he was really a caring friend.

“I’m … fine. I guess.”

“I guess not. Take a deep breath.” Zhangjing suggested. Linong immediately followed. “You can do this. Just take a deep breath and remember all that scolding, the extra lesson, our practices from up the hill. You don’t want all your efforts to go waste.”

“I don’t want to.” Linong replied with whispering voice, but enough for Zhangjing to hear. Zhangjing nodded and gave Linong a determined look, as if he was convincing Linong to feel the same with him.

“Don’t make yourself a loser in front of me, your teacher.” Zhangjing said smugly.

Linong laughed a little. “Okay, Teacher. I will try.”

That day, Linong successfully wrapped up the recital. He did some notes wrong, but after he got off the stage those wrong notes didn’t matter anymore. He saw Zhangjing’s proud smile from the stage, and that was enough.

That was enough.

.

.

.

**05**

 

“Look. An airplane.”

Zhangjing rolled his eyes. Despite his initial reaction, he proceeded to follow the direction where Linong’s finger was pointing towards. He was indeed pointing to an airplane. Most likely an usual, passenger airplane, soaring through the sky leaving cloud trails and messing with the clouds which were already formed before.

“Do you think I don’t know?” Zhangjing snarked. Linong didn’t give any response. He kept pointing at the airplane as if his arm didn’t get weary or such. Zhangjing looked at Linong. He was kind of worried that Linong didn’t respond. Not to mention he didn’t even change position; lying on the bed of grass, with an arm pointing to the sky.

“I want to fly one, someday.”

The wind blows, swallowed up any response that Zhangjing already prepared before. Linong lowered his arm, and switched his focus to Zhangjing.

“You also know about this, right, You Zhangjing?”

“You don’t need to ask.” Zhangjing shrugged his shoulder.

“Do you think I can be one?” Linong asked again. “A pilot?”

“Why can’t you? You can be anything. Go search for a good flight academy, start to save up for the tuition fee. With a lot of hard work, you can be one.”

“You’re right.” Linong smiled from cheek to cheek. “I can be anything I want, as long as I work hard for it, right? Like that choir recital from a while ago. At first I couldn’t sing well, but because I practiced with you, I got confidence and finally could show my best.”

Zhangjing smiled proudly. “True.”

“So does becoming a pilot….” Linong muttered to herself. “It must be amazing, right? Seeing the view from up there? I mean, view from the top of this hill is always great, but seeing the world from the sky itself … must be hella magnificent.”

“What’s with that _hella._ ” Zhangjing snickered and pushed Linong’s arm jokingly. “And yeah, you’re right.”

For a while, no one made a sound. They fell completely silent, with Linong focusing on the sky and Zhangjing sitting beside him, hugging Linong’s guitar. They both looked like they were too immersed with their own thoughts. It was not long, for Zhangjing suddenly broke the silence.

“Please work hard for it,” he said. Unlike usual, his tone was so soft, even the small wind could drown his voice. Good thing that there was no wind blowing by the time Zhangjing said his sentence. “I might not be able to see you become a pilot, but I believe you can do it.”

Linong looked at Zhangjing with a puzzled look. But not for long. He reverted back to a face full of smile.

“Don’t worry. If I became a pilot, I can always fly and search for you.” Linong was so sure, so determined. “Even when you fly away from me, I will fly and see you.”

Zhangjing didn’t show any reaction except showing a little smile. A little, bitter smile.

.

.

.

**06**

 

After Linong became a student in a flight academy, he almost had no time to meet Zhangjing. Linong struggled to juggle between his classes, his part-time-work, and the choir. Being this loyal to the choir team since elementary school was something very surprising even for Linong himself. When he was not attending class and not in his work shift, he joined choir team’s activities. He got the chance to perform several times, some of the performance being a collaboration with bands or orchestra teams.

Linong still remembered vividly how he used to hate the choir, how joining choir activities was much of a burden, and it was funny how those feelings change over years. He found choir activities more enjoyable as he was nearing adult age; not only for performance aspects, but another aspects of it, such as networking. It was kinda unbelieveable that Chen Linong who was once a shy, reserved kid could meet so many people, even befriend some of them and finding someone interesting.

“Listen, you loser. Just ask him out, it won’t hurt.”

Despite the decrease of their frequent meeting, Zhangjing still often came to his performance, including today’s. He usually didn’t do anything else besides annoying Linong, though. But his presence was something very dear to Linong, he could never let Zhangjing go.

Just look at what Zhangjing did today — following Linong to the rehearsal room and giving him some stupid grins and giggles. Not going to lie, Linong was confused.

“What or who are you talking about.” Linong gave Zhangjing a sharp side-eye while tightening his necktie.

Zhangjing hissed. “Who else other than that violinist? Cai Xukun, am I right?”

Linong took a deep breath. He really couldn’t hide anything from You Zhangjing, including anything about this matter. He turned to see Zhangjing still so stupidly grinning he couldn’t resist to pinch his cheek.

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Hey, it’s you who is being stupid right now. Don’t waste the chance, kid!” Zhangjing pushed Linong’s arm away from his cheek. “You’re not the shy and reserved Chen Linong anymore. I’m sure you have courage for this kind of thing.”

“You don’t know anything….” Linong sighed. “I don’t even know whether he know me that much or whether he will be _that kind of interested_ in me.”

“Trying won’t hurt. Well, it might be, a little. But there’s no growing without pain, hm?” Zhangjing looked at him with a determined look Linong was so familiar with. “Moreover, we’re already kind of drifting apart nowadays. I couldn’t be on your side for most of the time. It would be good if you can found someone who can always be with you.”

Linong couldn’t find any right words to reply to Zhangjing’s words. Zhangjing was right. Yet, it was really hard to accept. They were right about truth. Sometimes, truths are just hard-to-swallow pills.

“... Do we really need to grow apart?” Linong asked. This question had been in his mind since God knows when, but he never felt the necessity to ask that before this time.

Zhangjing answered with a nod. He continued to say, “It was for your own good. You will continue to grow this way — in your own path. Your own way. The path that is different from mine.”

“I understand.” Linong’s face darkened a bit — Zhangjing apparently didn’t like it because he quickly pinched Linong’s cheek upon seeing the change of his expression.

“You better ask him tonight. I might or might not be there, but don’t disappoint me.”

Linong chuckled. “Yes, Tea~~cher.”

Little did Zhangjing knew, that night, it was Cai Xukun who greeted Linong first.

.

.

.

**08**

 

“I’m really sorry …” Linong muttered. He stared at the night sky from inside the car, longingly. Full with regrets. “If only I didn’t come late, we wouldn’t miss the fireworks.”

Xukun stared at Linong for a while from the driver’s seat, before letting out a slight chuckle. “That’s fine, don’t be too stiff like that. I know you are busy, Mr. Pilot. If anything, it’s me who is supposed to apologize — for asking you to go out right after a flight.”

“I just feel kinda … guilty, you know? We already cancelled a lot of our plan to go out together because of my schedule, and this time I ruined it, again.” Linong couldn’t hide disappointment in his voice. Xukun, who looked at him concerned, cracked a little smile and put his hand on Linong’s head. Xukun always liked doing that — giving Linong a light pat. Linong once said that the pats made himself feel a little better.

“Not your fault, Nongnong. Never your fault.”

Linong looked at Xukun, warily. “You’re not mad, right?”

“Why should I? I mean, I know the risk of dating a pilot who worked under a crazy captain.” Xukun’s answer made Linong chuckled a little. “Okay, so where should we go? There’s nothing interesting here besides the fireworks, and we already missed it. We can’t stay here all night long, right?”

Suddenly an idea came to Linong’s mind.

“Do you still have the mood to go outside, Kunkun?”

“Hm? I’d take anything as long as it’s with you. If you want to go somewhere, I’m with you, or if you want to go straight home I’m also okay with it.”

“I know a good place — I spent most of my childhood there.” Linong smiled. “It’s a hill … top of a hill ….”

.

.

.

**09**

 

Xukun was one of the best things ever happened in Linong’s life, and he would never got enough time to be grateful of that. Every time Linong spent with Xukun were just so priceless, so memorable, so precious. He would put their memories together inside a treasure box and bury it deep down in the ground if he could. He would freeze the moments so he could experience it for longer time if he could. He thanked destiny for arranging such a meeting; with a person he could give his whole life to, with a person he would never ever let go even for the exchange of this world.

The depth of Linong’s feelings toward Xukun might be complicated, but actually Linong enjoyed doing small, simple things with Xukun the most. They would spent one night talking on the couch and it still felt better than a night out in a five-starred Michelin restaurant. Linong could see the world through Xukun’s eyes — who was a little bit more mature — and so did Xukun. Linong had more childish perspective to everything and that fact never stopped to amaze Xukun. If anything, it was something Xukun really long to had.

To still be a child but grow up at the same time.

“Kunkun, are you happy?”

Xukun blinked in confusion when Linong suddenly asked. Linong didn’t even look at him; his stare was focused to the TV screen in front of them. Xukun wondered whether the movie they watched gave Linong the idea to ask something like that, but he didn’t bother to confirm his guess with Linong himself. He chose just to answer.

“Do you mean at this time, or —”

“No, this whole life.” Linong shook his head slowly. “Are you living a happy life?”

“I am.” Xukun answered firmly. “I have loving family and friends. I’m happy that I could play the violin. Not to mention I also have you.”

Linong sighed. Loud.

“That wasn’t the answer you want?” Xukun asked with a slight chuckle at the end. Linong shook his head again.

“No, no. I’m glad you’re happy, and you’re still happy with me. But … do you have any regrets?” Linong asked again, now with more specific question. “Sometimes regrets .. are the obstacles from happiness, right?”

“Who said that? We can regret something in the past but still have a happy life, silly.” Xukun smiled. His hand ruffled Linong’s hair gently. “As long as you learn from your regrets and let go of the negative things, we won’t waste our life wailing over something we can’t fix.”

Linong pouted childishly before commented, “As usual, Kunkun. You’re right.”

“Why are you asking about this, though?” Finally, Xukun let his curiosity out in the open. “Are you still thinking about that lady who complained about bad landing last week?”

“I’m … not. Well, a bit.” Linong shrugged. “But well … it was not my first bad landing, though. I still can fix it next time.”

“Or are you still thinking about our first date where you —”

“Wait, wait wait wait! Stop, stop!” With a face flushed with red, Linong attacked Xukun with a pillow he had been hugging since a while ago, making Xukun grinned and laughed in amusement. “Kunkun, I thought we agreed not to bring up that day again!”

“Fine, fine, my mouth is closed. See, hm.” Xukun closed his lips tightly while Linong drowned his face on the surface of his pillow. It was fun seeing Linong’s reaction every time Xukun mentioned about their first date, but Xukun knew how much Linong regretted that day. “But, hey, at least I didn’t run away despite seeing your dumbness back then. I always said that the accident was cute, right?”

“I’m still embarrassed, you know.”

“It was years ago, Nongnong. Come on.” Xukun pinched Linong’s sides, enough to made Linong groaned. “If we could go back in time, I’d rather not to let you fix that accident, you know. It was a good memories. Not for you, I know, but I think, if you really understand how I feel during that accident, you will be less embarrassed. It’s not like you lost your date right after that, hm?”

At first, Linong didn’t want to admit that Xukun was right. After spending some seconds thinking, he finally nodded. No matter how embarrassing the memories were, Linong couldn’t fix it. It still happened. Probably laughing at his own dumbness was really the best thing to do to get rid of the embarrassment — some people did it too. Xukun did it too. Linong should learn to do it too.

“So you don’t regret it anymore, huh?” Xukun’s hand found its place again on top of Linong’s hand, running between Linong’s soft, strawberry-scented hair strands.

“... Nope.”

“And you’re regret-free now?”

“For now, yes.”

Xukun lifted his eyebrows. “For now?”

“So far I do have a lot of regrets, but those are fine. I can let go of them when I’m ready. But …” Linong paused for a while, thinking about how to convey his own thoughts and feeling with words so Xukun would understand. “I do have a wish … if I couldn’t fulfill that wish when I’m living, I don’t think I can die happy.”

.

.

.

**07**

 

Linong’s flight academy graduation was something that he would consider as a special occassion. Unlike his previous graduations, his parents managed to come. Xukun also came and brought a bouquet of roses — Linong complained that the bouquet was too flashy and embarrassing, but the complain fell right on deaf ears. Despite that, Linong was very grateful. The graduation would be the happiest moment in his life if it was not for Zhangjing.

Zhangjing was there, smiling proudly at the outer side of the crowd, almost unnoticed — but he was You Zhangjing and there was nothing that would made Linong not notice him. When he finished talking with his parents, Xukun, his friends and teachers, Linong managed to sneak out and met Zhangjing near the fence of the academy. Zhangjing was smiling, very proudly, but Linong could catch a glimpse of sadness from his eyes. Linong knew from where that sadness come from. It came from an inevitable separation that would follow after this.

Time to say goodbye was really near.

“Congratulations, kid.” Zhangjing put his hands on his waist while looking up to Linong. It felt like it was just yesterday that they were on the same height. Now, Linong was way taller, Zhangjing always complained that his neck hurts every time he had to look up while talking with Linong. Time flew really fast and the remains of it were just such sudden changes.

Linong smiled. It had been a while since the last time he smiled this wide. “Thank you, Teacher.”

Zhangjing snickered. That nickname was the name he found himself but sometimes he couldn’t help but cringe listening to Linong referring to him as Teacher. “You grow up really well. I’m more than proud.”

“It’s all thanks to you.” Linong said sincerely. “You are always on my side when everyone’s not … if I didn’t meet you I don’t think I can be … well, like this.”

Zhangjing’s eyes glistened. He showed up an enigmatic, confusing smile.

“I really want to talk to you for the last time, but not here,” said Zhangjing softly. “After the ceremony ends, I’ll wait for you at the hill.”

“Our usual place.” Linong nodded. “Okay. I’ll be there quick. You won’t have to wait long.”

“Well, I take that as a promise.” Zhangjing snickered before turned around and run toward the direction of the hill. Linong smiled while watching Zhangjing run, making a distance between them. As the little boy disappeared between crossroads, smile on Linong’s face gradually faded away too.

.

.

The view from the top of the hill was not the exact same as the one Linong used to see as a little boy. There were a lot more buildings than green areas, the sky was not as clear as years ago, but Linong always liked this view. He felt closer to the sky. So close that he thought he just could fly here — even without wings, even without airplanes.

Zhangjing was playing the guitar when Linong arrived. The notes he played were familiar. It was always that melody — the melody Linong first mastered on the guitar, the simple melody he used for accompaniment when Linong was practicing his vocals. Upon seeing Linong, Zhangjing stopped playing and raised his head. He was not smiling, but also not frowning. But he was sad. Yet so content. It almost looked like he felt contentment from all the sadness he had on himself right now.

“This is our last time.” Zhangjing started the conversation. “Do you want me to play the song Xukun taught you back then?”

Linong shook his head. No. He didn’t want anything. He didn’t need anything. He didn’t want and need anything except for You Zhangjing.

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” said Linong, almost as soft as the spring breeze. “I don’t want to be apart from you. I want to stay with you.”

“You can’t, and you know it.”

Linong hissed. “I don’t know how will my life be without you.”

“Oh, you will be fine. Trust me. I live inside your head. I know what are you actually capable of.” Zhangjing sounded so sure meanwhile Linong stared at him full of doubt. “Oh please, don’t doubt yourself. Listen, who do you think made you like this? Who pushed you until you can go this far?”

“You.” Linong answered, hesitantly, and responded with Zhangjing’s head shake.

“And since I’m a part of yourself, so who is it again?”

“... Myself.” The hesitation still hadn’t escaped Linong’s answer this time. Zhangjing nodded in agreement.

“After all, I’m just a fragment of your mind, so technically I won’t leave. You just won’t be able to see me again — you’re an adult, and most adults have no time for an imaginary friend. You have career. You have Xukun now. You have a long way ahead of you, and for me to seeing you get to this point, I’m very proud.” Zhangjing raised his shoulders. “Listen, as long as your mind still works, I will still be there for you. Protecting you. Probably not in a way like this, where you can see me and play along with me, but believe me. I won’t leave.”

“You are my first friend.”

“An unreal one, please remember.” Zhangjing smiled bitterly.

“Thank you … for being on my side … when I’m lonely and confused.” Linong couldn’t resist his tears to fall. He rubbed his face with the back of his hand while sobbing.

He looked like a little boy again.

He might be still a little boy at heart.

“... Don’t cry.”

“You know how sad I am, just … just let me cry.”

“Hey, you know …” Zhangjing stood up to reach Linong’s shoulder and gave him a gentle, comforting pat on there. “I think, as long as you keep that pure soul, the kind of innocence only children have … we could meet again.”

Linong stopped sobbing for a while. “When?”

“I don’t know.” Zhangjing shook his head in hesitation. “But … I believe you can do it. You said you will fly anywhere to find me, right?”

“I did.”

“Great.”

That was the first time Zhangjing hugged Linong. His little arm tight around Linong’s shoulders, and Linong felt a strange warmth came from him. It was strange since Zhangjing’s hug was not supposed to be warm or feels like anything, yet he still felt it, all over his body, even right into his heart. It was comforting. It was a right amount of warmth Linong needed right now.

”We first met when you were lonely.” Zhangjing whispered. “When we meet again later, I better see you when you are happy.”

“That’s a good deal for me too.” Linong replied softly. “I promise I will live a happy life.”

.

.

The morning after, Linong couldn’t see Zhangjing anymore. Not in his room, not at the top of the hill, not even at the balcony across.

.

.

.

 

**01**

 

Chen Linong looked at the sky and wished for something that could change his mundane life.

Even as a little boy, his life was full of boredom and loneliness. Every day he came to an empty home, waiting for his parents to go home while doing his homework or playing with his toys. He couldn’t go to his friends’ houses or invite them over because he had none. He knew all the names of his classmates, and some of his teammates in choir team, but he almost never talks to them. Linong was very shy and reserved. He couldn’t speak without stuttering, he couldn’t sing well in front of others, and that was the thing which made his choir teacher mad today. No improvement since you first joined, that was she said. Some of his teammates laughed at him. Linong had to stomach all the disappointment and embarrassment all by himself since there were no one to share with.

Today too, his family’s apartment was empty when he came home. His mom wouldn’t be home before eight, and his dad maybe would come home much later than his mom. _It’s okay,_ Linong told himself, _I’m used to this. Besides, if my parents aren’t home, I can practice_. Earlier he borrowed a book from the library — a singing guidebook, _How To Sing Well  (For Beginner)_. The book was heavy from all the hard cover and quality paper. Linong believed that this book could guide him to be a better singer, so his teacher wouldn’t scold him anymore. After changing his clothes, Linong ran to the balcony, with the singing guidebook on one hand and a journal on another hand.

He tried to follow the instructions in the guidebook, but there were no use. He still sang like broken cassette; he couldn’t project his voice well, he couldn’t hit the notes well. After almost two hours he spent in vain, Linong gave up. He lied himself down on the balcony’s floor, with a direct view to the sky. He saw clouds. Airplane. Birds flying in flock.

“If I had a friend like those birds, it would be nice.” Linong muttered. “A friend who will teach me how to sing ... “

He let his imagination gear running before he hopped off and reached his journal. Linong liked to write whatever thoughts were running inside his head, whatever they are. _It was a habit,_ Linong guessed, since he already did that for as long as he could remember. This time, he wrote down things about a friend. He let his pen run around, carving the blank white paper with words.

 _“My friend is really good at singing …”_ he wrote, _“He is sassy, but really cares. He read singing guidebooks and practice diligently, that’s why his vocals are so good …”_

_“He is shorter, smaller, but older than me, but his voice is soooooo powerful it can defeat a strong wind!”_

_“He has adorable curly hair. He went to school every morning with me ...._  wait, it won't be fun if he go to same school with me. He's going to see me being scolded and such ..." Linong scratched the words he wrote before, and changed it according to something he thought as a better option. " _He went to a private school, a good private school near the neighborhood. He also likes to smile … and his smile is so wide. He’s smiling not only with his mouth … but also with eyelids … eyelashes … eyes….”_

“His name … how about his name?” Linong stopped writing for a while, searching for a good name for his friend. It had to be a cool name, because hey! His friend is a cool boy. “Ah, I know! How about this ….”

_“... His name is You Zhangjing.”_

Linong smiled in satisfaction before putting down his pen. Suddenly, he thought about something. Probably not a best idea, but it was interesting.

“Hey, if I send this to the sky, will I …?”

That idea seemed very intriguing for Linong. _It’s worth to try._ So without any more thinking, Linong ripped the page of his recent writing, folded it to a paper plane, and flew it from the balcony.

Right after Linong flew the paper plane, the wind blows strongly. It messed up with the direction of Linong’s paper plane for a while before delivering it to the floor of the empty, dusty balcony across.

When Linong turned to see where his paper plane went, he saw You Zhangjing there.

.

.

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**9.5**

 

“What kind of wish?” Xukun asked, full with curiosity, but also softly.

“I have a friend …” Linong paused for a sigh. Xukun looked at him with concern written all over his face. “A really, really, really good friend. But it’s really hard to meet him nowadays. The last time I saw him was at my graduation, and I never see him again ever since.”

“That sucks,” Xukun commented, seemed to empathize with Linong’s situation. “Growing apart with someone who used to be one of the most precious things in your life is really sad.”

“You right. That’s why … I kinda want to meet him again even just for once.” Linong muttered. “I promised him that I will have a happy live, and I want to tell him that I managed to keep my promise.”

.

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**10**

 

There would be one day where Chen Linong dreamed about his home.

It had been years since he moved to this house together with Xukun. This apartment was quite small. Yet it contained a lot of memories, be it the happy ones, bitter ones, even sad ones. Some of the memories were preserved in a form of photographs they put on the wall — memories about their vacation, their graduations, their concerts, and so many else. Some of them were preserved in the different form like stains of smoke on the kitchen’s wall, stratches on the floor, or wilted flowers. Good thing that memories are intangible objects — had they are not, this small house wouldn’t be able to accommodate all of them.

In that dream, Linong took a detour around his house. From the kitchen, the bathroom, the dining room, the attic, the living room, and the last was the bedroom. Their bedroom was one of the largest room in the house, with a direct access to a balcony. Right across the balcony, there was another apartment building. The set really reminded Linong to his parents’ house, the place he spent his childhood at — this was also one of the reasons why Linong chose this apartment at the first place.

Before stepping out to the balcony, Linong saw Xukun, asleep on the bed, peaceful, uninterrupted. He looked like he was having a good rest. Linong wondered what Xukun was dreaming about. He hoped that it was a good dream, a happy dream, and not a nightmare. Linong smiled and walked closer until it was close enough to give Xukun a slight peck on his forehead. Very gently, very dearly.

Cai Xukun meant the world for him and that fact would never change.

Linong tried not to make a lot of sound when he tried to open the door to the balcony. Right after he opened the door, he saw a very familiar figure at the balcony across. Smiling with his mouth, eyes, eyelids, and eyelashes, with a paper plane on his left hand. Linong was struck by a wave of nostalgia as You Zhangjing waved his paper plane.

“Long time no see, old man!”

You Zhangjing stayed the same. A little boy, a little sassy boy with curly hair and small body, but powerful voice.

“Long time to see too, Teacher You!”

Zhangjing laughed.

“Did you keep your promise to me~?”

Linong knew Zhangjing would ask for this. And for the answer, he nodded. Firmly.

“I’m really happy.” He shouted. “I’m really happy, You Zhangjing!”

Another smile appeared on Zhangjing’s face. It was wide. It was sincere. It was full of contentment.

“You did well!” Zhangjing shouted, proudly. “You did well, Chen Linong!”

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.

.

From the balcony across, Chen Linong saw You Zhangjing for the last time.

Chen Linong never woke up from this dream.


End file.
